I am your Density….I mean Destiny, Review.

Destiny was/is one of the biggest hype trains to hit the gaming block this year.  With so much time and money spent on advertisements (Destiny had a $500K budget)  this game is going to be totally awesome right?…right?

Before I begin first let me just put a qualifier out there, Destiny gave me the biggest case of writers block I have ever experienced since starting I Beat It First,  There are just so many things wrong with Destiny and so many points that made me nerd rage all over the place, but for whatever reason I kept on returning… Now I will do my best to try and not rant through out the entire review, however If you have played Destiny yourself, feel free to skip ahead to my nerd rant section below.

Destiny Mars
It just so purdy


Story:  Lets just jump right into the thick of it, or thin of it, the story in Destiny is quite possibly one of the weakest stories have I ever had the pleasure of playing.  I mean the game literally goes out of its way to show you that they are not going to tell you story with lines like “I Could tell you…” or “I don’t even have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain” it seems like Bungie did everything possible to keep you completely in the dark while playing this game.  Ultimately it lead to you feeling like you had no idea on what you were doing or why you are doing it and really made the over all experience feel shallow.  Sure, There is a ton of lore and back story out there, but that information can only be found online at bungie.net so if you do want to have ANY bit of extra information you have to quit the game, go to your computer and read small flash cards about the world and enemies…What kinda Shit is that?  Yes this game that wants you to find out more about the game by NOT playing the game….ugh.

Zoop Zwoop
The Sparrow is definitely a high point of Destiny

Graphics:  But its just so damn pretty,  Seriously Destiny is quite possibly one of the best looking FPS games available right now and on the PS4 all effects are colorful and vibrant, I rarely had any slowdown or shudder even when being over run by the Flood..er Hive.  Something small that has actually blown me away is Destiny has one of the Best fabric collision programs I have ever seen. Most characters wear a cloak or have a banner hanging off them and while running or hopping on your speeder there was almost zero clipping, let me say that again, almost Zero graphical clipping for a cloak or fabric….NOW that’s fucking next gen people.

Gameplay:  If I were to be an honest man, and I think I am, the gameplay is what really keeps me coming back.  All of the guns in Destiny feel comfortable and different, the sniper rifle has an appropriate kick while the shotgun’s scatter is spot on, if you have every played Halo you will feel right at home.  Ultimately the Gun play is what keeps you coming back and doing the same missions over and over again, sure the idea of some loot dropping is there, but the real satisfaction comes from being able to pop off head-shots while floating through the air with your jetpack.

Best feeling in the game, dropping the pain

Sound:  As I’m sure you have heard before the Music in Destiny is amazing, multiple times I have booted up Destiny and did small chores around the house so I could listen to the “in Orbit” music for a while.   Its the perfect mood setting and actually gives you more prompts on the games setting than anything story related haha.  On the down side the voice acting is far from great and everyone’s hero Peter Dinklage did not give the stellar performance he should have.  Since he is the only voice you hear for about 85% of the game it would have been nice if he sounded like he knew what he was talking about.

Multiplayer:  Quite possibly the only real saving grace for Destiny.  Mix in the great gunplay with online arenas and you can actually have some fun, getting some kill streaks with your specials abilities is always satisfying and the variants to the normal death match are welcomed and fun.  With around 10 or 12 maps to play in each round feels fun and engaging.  Add in the fact that you can have extra bounties for chances at more XP or loot and you have a well made Multiplayer experience, just wish the load times and matchmaking were better.

Shit is REAL
Pose as a team cuz shit just got REAL

In the end I didn’t fully hate my time with Destiny, I was just extremely disappointed. Like getting a nice sweater from your rich Grandparents on your birthday.  I mean, you are thankful, and it is a nice sweater, but COME ON! they were your best chance at getting that boombox and all you got was this sweater… #FWP.  If you have waited to play Destiny this long I highly recommend waiting long and just getting the GOTY eddition then you can have the actual “full” experience and maybe by then the game wont be so empty feeling.



Ok now that I have finally gotten a review actually on paper I just want to bitch about it for awhile.

  • Anything you do in Destiny to better your character is just to make yourself like everybody else.  There is litterally ZERO customization within the game and at end level everyone will have the EXACT same gear.  This right her is my biggest complaint.  Why the hell cant I just change my helmet color or change how it looks, anything to set myself apart.  Sure there are Shaders but that changes everything to a color scheme they wanted so you will almost always run into someone who looks exactly like you. You are not special.  Same thing with Ships.  There is ZERO reason to ever buy a ship they do nothing for you its just another thing to look at during the load screens, but even still WHY THE FUCK cant I at least change the God damn color!!!
  • Destiny behind all of its polish is extremely lazy, they created all the small aspects of a MMO but nothing that actually makes it social.  Are you playing as a Titan but have found some Warlock gear how about you trade it?  NOPE! no trade system, all you can do is destroy the item forever.  Would you gladly trade all of your Glimmer for that one last Shard?  TOO FUCKING BAD there is no way to gain anything in the game without Grinding for random drops.  On that note, ALL major drops are fucking random and random for each person, so you could do 3-4 strike missions and still never get a drop or anything you need.. while all your friends get 1 or 2 purples a run.  Any MMO will have certain drops with CHANCES for better drops that makes fighting the same things over and over again worth it, just to have a CHANCE none of this random Bullshit.
Cool hat, too bad everyone has the exact same thing
Cool hat, too bad everyone has the exact same thing
  • Boss battles were a joke, for such an “epic” game there was absolutely no reason to have the boss battles be so lame, especially the final Boss battle.
    Like literally this had to happen:
    Bungie Employee: “Uh we need to decide on a final boss for our major AAA title, but we have wasted all of our budget on Advertisements”
    Bungie Boss: “Lets just have the final boss battle be three of the giant robots.”
    Bungie Employee: “So you want the end of our game, the game that is supposed to be an epic journey across the universe, to end with just a rehash of the same mini boss battle from earlier in the game?”
    Bungie Boss: “Yes, no one will notice, as this time there will be more giant robots, and more is always better.”
    Bungie Employee: “That is……BRILLIANT!”
    *Both dive into a mountain of cash like Scrooge McDuck*
  • You have zero choice or opinion on to what multiplayer maps you do.  Strike or Crucible the next map always just loads randomly even forcing you to do the exact same map again two, three times in a row, usually resulting in players dropping.
  • Cinematic cut scenes cannot be skipped, What the SHIT is that? In a game that REQUIRES you to play the same damn 20 missions OVER AND OVER again the fact that you cannot skip the shitty ass same fucking cut scenes is idiotic! If I have to hear my character call her Ghost “Little Light” one more time…
  • The Loot drops are fucking retarded.  “Jason you love other games like Diablo and they are just grind fests for better loot” yes but look at the amount of loot you get in Diablo vs the Shitty ass drops you get in Destiny. A raid run in Diablo will get you quite a bit of gear and chances to change your entire load out,  Destiny will maybe, MAYBE drop one item worth wile but 99% of the time your current gear is already better,  NOT to mention if the engram son of a bitch desides to give you a green item. This comic from CLT+ALT+DEL speaks volumes to what I’m talking about.
So true its sad
So true its sad


I said it before but Ill say it again, the story is absolutely bullshit, even the ending cinematic is anticlimactic as hell and just painfully obviously sets up the DLC,  Actually all of Destiny so in your face about pointing out that you did not buy the full game its almost comical. Every aspect of the story that could have made the game better was ripped out in an effort to make you pay more in the form of DLC.  Do us all a favor and show Bungie that shit doesn’t fly and don’t buy the DLC.


Comic Sauce: http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20140915





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