Thief was my Dark Horse for the “next gen” systems. When I heard Square-Enix was working on Thief I immediately added it to my list of “must play” titles, especially since I had such wonderful memories from the originals.  While there is plenty wrong with it there is one thing Thief excels at… Thieving.

Graphics:  I’ll just jump on into this one as the graphics in Thief are the biggest disappointment.  Obviously since the game is available on all systems its no surprise the PC, XB1 and PS4 versions were just a port. Most textures are pretty bad up close and all of the NPC models, outside of pre-rendered cut scenes, look like shit.  Mix in some lip syncing issues, unnecessary load times and a few other graphical jitters and any “wow factor” you had can disappear quickly.  That’s not to say that Thief is horrible looking, the city is alive and is very intricately woven to ensure there are plenty of hiding places for all that glitters… and to be honest, its so much fun you may not even notice.

Garret, Thief, not model
Garrett, I would wear a mask if I was this ugly as well. Sorry Garret, you ugly….bleh

Sound:  With my new headsets the sound of falling rain and the creaking old buildings sounds great!  Surround sound also saved me more than once as I could hear soldiers walking or talking just around a corner.  The music seems to only play when you are in danger or at scripted moments, so for someone playing to remain hidden this means you will almost never hear any music.

Playability:  Here is where Thief shines, and by shines I mean hides in the dark and steals all hope of you getting anything done for the rest of the day. Thief does a fantastic job of making you feel like a Thief, stealing from the rich, stealing from the poor, stealing from your friends, You don’t care, you’re a thief not robin hood.  The amount of hidden items and loot is staggering and will put event the toughest of completionists to the test.  I would like to think I am an extremely thorough person, but even I missed about 20% of all the loot in the world.  The secret areas and tricks to open hidden doors are extremely well planned, thought out, and can only be found with a little bit of thinking on your end.  Meaning; no marker points, no hints, just a crude map and an idea where to look (if you ever find the map).  I also completely enjoyed all of the abilities and tools, while there is a slight paranormal aspect to the story line most of the abilities are on par with what a true”Master Thief” would have, no magic or silly contraptions, just good ole skill, lock picks and arrows.

Thief is dark and creepy
Get ready for plenty of Fog and darkness, there never really is a fantastic view or overlook of an area.

Paying options:  Another awesome aspect to Thief is the true option for playing a level multiple different ways.  Most of the time there was always a hidden or off track way into an area or around guards.
Want to Sneak in without being detected and have nobody know? Sure, better stock up on gear.
Want to distract the guards and make everyone think the area is haunted? Sure, Just be sure to pelt a guy with a glass bottle while hidden!
Want to go in there with a billion arrows and kill everything that moves?  Well, ok, but this aint no COD shit so why don’t you just calm the fuck down man.
Anyway, the point I’m making is the way you want to play the game is completely up to you and as long as you can look past some of the obvious issues Thief is the most fun you will have in a disease stricken city.

Just stick to the shadows
Sticking to the shadows is usually your best bet, but you can go all Rambo on these guys if you would rather.


  • NPCs in the game will not Shut the fuck up. If you are in an area searching for something hidden and an NPC happens to be near by get ready to hear the same fucking two things over and over and over and over again, even if they are alone, like who the fuck are you talking to?  I don’t give a shit you are hungry and cold, just move so I can steal your uncharacteristically expensive jewelry you have stored behind the only painting in your house.
  • Loading in the game feels way too often, I’m sure most of the reason is because of support for last Gen consoles but in this day and age where a fully city can be rendered without loading there is no reason why the three areas of the main city cant be loaded all at once.
  • Windows, fucking windows man. Every single window you open has to go through the same 5 second animation and quick time button press as Garrett checks to see if he can open the window, even if you have gone through the window before, and since Windows are required to travel through to get to other areas it gets annoying super fast.
  • The story in the game really pissed me off, as you can see I didn’t even give it a section above.  Its a slow and not very in depth story to begin with, since you are just a thief and not a hero, but at the end when it all comes together and you finally feel like you have more to the game then just to steal shit it just sorta fizzles out and ends, like thanks for nothing jerk, at least you stole some nice stuff.  I will point out that each chapter/level was fantastic on its own usually solving whatever problem or small bit of information you were after, The Asylum was quite possibly one of the creepiest levels I have ever played.


In the End I really enjoyed my time with Thief, it is exactly how Dishonored should have been and does everything way better.  If you are looking for a classic stealth game or if you are a bit of a completionist look no further, as Thief has more than enough to offer you as long as you are able to look past some of its shortcomings.

Stats: Thief is available on PC, PS3,PS4, Xbox 360 and Xbox One, I played the PS4 copy.  Time to beat was 30 hours on Master Thief mode (hard) with around 80% of all loot found, and a lot of that time was spend to comb every inch.  My primary play style was to be as stealthy as possible and I did not kill anybody.


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