El Shaddai Review

El Shaddai

Difficulty played: Normal

Platform: Xbox 360 (also available on PS3)

Time : 12 Hours

DISCLAIMER:  There is a lot of negativity in this article, but I really liked this game…well, after a certain part.   El Shaddai just made it too easy for me to tease and make fun of.  So if I offend you by this review, I am sorry. The graphics, controls and camera angles were all awesome.  Do not take my negativity to heart, because I know some hardcore gamer that reads this might call me an idiot and not look at my article from a humorous standpoint.

I am going to start off with this, I am so glad I finished this game.  If it wasn’t for my homework assignment to play and review this game I probably would have put this back on the shelf and gone right back to good old Battlefield 3. Besides FPS I am a fan of your typical button, combo mashing third person game.  From playing God of War years ago, to the time of my first review on Ibeatitfirst.com Dante’s Inferno, which I liked a lot.  El Shaddai is really in my eye just another spin on how we can make a VERY similar game to God of War and add our own twist to it.

Well where do I start, oh I know, how about the name of the game El Shaddai.  What the fudge does that mean??  I don’t think at one point in the game they explain that at all.  Well from my un-credited web site Wikipedia, it is one of the Judaic names of God, with its etymology coming from the influence of the Ugaritic religion on modern Judaism. El Shaddai is conventionally translated as God Almighty.  Well that would have been nice to know, I mean I knew the game dealt with some form of religion, but I really thought that El Shaddai was one of the many gay names for the character Enoch whom you play with throughout the game.  In the sub title it also says “Ascension of the Metatron”, what the hell is a Metatron?  The first thing that comes to my mind is butterfly and then Megatron, so what is this some gay Auto-bot. No actually again from my un-credited source a Metatron is the name of an angel in Judaism and some branches of Christian mythology.  AGAIN the game never explains this once, all I know is I am some shirtless dude named Enoch, who completely looks 100% identical to Brad Pitt’s character Achilles in the movie Troy.  It is actually kind of creepy, like the game designers have a little obsession with Brad Pitt.  Also, what is with my character wearing blue jeans?  I am a heroic angel here to save the gates of heaven (I think) from the fallen Angels Sariel, Ezekiel and Azazel and my character is wearing fucking wranglers?!?  Oh I got it I’m not El Shaddai, Enoch or Brad Pitt, I am Mother fucking Brett Favre, and I WILL NEVER DIE!!! @Jason.

Ok enough dogging on the title or the main character, let’s get to the nitty gritty; the story.  The game ended great… well, how about ok.  Let’s say by the end of the game I finally got an idea of what the fuck was going on (I think).  But the start was a completely different story; I hated the first 3 chapters of this game.  You have no idea what is going on, you’re put into boss battles where it is impossible to win, and yes you’re supposed to die (that’s rude!).  It is a cluster fuck of garbage, plus not to hate on the art and colors of the game but the first 3 chapters felt like I was in a Teletubbies world tripping on acid.  Where were my Minotaur’s or my giant bosses with three boobs with tongues coming out of the nipples?  I mean come on that is what EVERY GAMER WANTS!!!!  LOL After the first three to four chapters the world’s got darker, there was explanation for what was going on, the boss battles actually started to count and the game started to take on some life.  I actually started to enjoy the game instead of look at it as a chore.  The other thing I was confused about was what is with the guy named Lucifel who is sent by god to watch over me though out the game?  First off, doesn’t Lucifel sound like Lucifer, why is he wearing all black and why does he have red eyes like a demon? Doesn’t that all sound like he is evil? I was really waiting for him to stab me in the back and fuck my whole mission.  Also, he communicates with god via a cellphone that looks like a flip phone from the early 2000’s.  You would think there would be communication telepathically and it would be a smart phone with some form of blue tooth, I mean come on.

It’s so hard for me to not dog on this game.  I will say the worlds looked awesome; the coloring was great it actually made you feel you are playing in a 3D world.  Even when the game would turn into a 2D side scroller it looked awesome.  The game designers also did  very well using the camera angles and there was no point in the game where I had an issue due to a constantly moving camera.  I would have liked to see more weapons added to the game  and some form of combos in the controls, but sadly there are none and throughout the entire game, you just hit X, Y, LB and RB over and over again.  I also liked the attempt for no HUD like in Dead Space, but it really felt like there was something missing because of it.

Over all the game was great for 15 bucks. From what I have read in previous articles, if you are a fan of Devil May Cry or like the artwork in the game Okami check this bad boy out and it you are a God of war Guru looking for you next fix read my previous article on Dante’s Inferno before you decide.  I Beat It FIRST!